Our cultural portfolio slams Cramer’s political one.

By contrast, only four of Cramer's 13 stocks beat the S&P 500, and five of them lost money outright. His best performer was JPMorgan, which increased 76.10 percent. It could be that in the long term, Cramer's relatively cheap bank stocks will lift his overall portfolio, and it should be noted that neither TBM nor Cramer provided a time frame when the portfolio was first announced. Six months just seemed like a logical time for us to take profits.

Would we recommend our method to readers at home? Not really. Part of this exercise was to point out just how unscientific the notion of a presidential portfolio is. And we'd be the first to admit that we benefited from some luck; as my colleague Caitlin McDevitt has argued, it's hard to make the case that J.Crew's recent stock rocket has much to do with Michelle Obama (though some of it probably does). Moreover, with Obama's poll numbers sinking these days, he may not have the taste-making ability he had in the honeymoon period.

Still, had we invested actual money in our portfolio, we might be taking much fancier vacations this year. And the next time we get a new White House occupant, we'll be happy to offer up—with all the usual caveats—another cultural presidential portfolio.