More Electric Car Delusions

Over at Gas 2.0, Clayton Cornell is reporting on a conference that took place in Detroit last week. "The Business of Plugging In" brought together an extensive roster of people who have a stake in a future that features electric cars. And according to Cornell:

A few of them are featured in next month’s Inc. Magazine, which does a fantastic job of describing what’s being called the "Electric Car Ecosystem." It looks something like this:

"Electric cars must be built (by automakers and new venture-backed start-ups), supported by a supply chain of new components (like batteries and new types of electric motors) as well as new manufacturing capabilities, which are all being made possible by major grants (from state and Federal government). The cars will be fueled by electricity (provided by utilities) in a fashion that must not overwhelm the power grid (and aggravate consumers and utility companies), and will ideally be sourced from new low-carbon power (like wind and solar) in a way that intelligently connects the car to the grid and the web."

It’s the new interconnected car.

I don’t disagree with the first part of that, but by the time we get setup for the this “interconnected car” nonsense, all the usual soggy Car 2.0 tropes have been trotted out. It’s true that electric cars will likely be built by automakers and startups, and that will mean more batteries and motors. But day also follows night. This is just manufacturing, done as it has always been done, but with different bits and pieces. It’s not some kind of glorious new “ecosystem.”

The thrust then shifts to state and federal subsidies, which are part of this “ecosystem” because no carmaker or startup in its right mind is going to absorb all the financial risk of servicing a market that for all practical purposes doesn’t exist. But the really wacky stuff comes at then end, when we have an un-overwhelmed power grid, running on anything but coal or nukes, somehow magically—but “intelligently”—joining car to grid to (wait for it) the (what else?) Web.

There’s really no logical connection from manufacturing electric cars to having their power source enlace them with the Internets, but apparently Inc. Magazine believes there will be. This is a complete hallucination. Here’s how it's really going to work out:

“Electric cars will be built in small, experimental numbers (by major automakers and venture-backed startups whose venture-backers desperately hope that major automakers will buy them), supported by a supply chain of somewhat new components (like batteries and electric motors built in low-cost Asian countries), as well as somewhat new manufacturing capabilities, which would be unthinkable without major grants (from state and Federal government). The cars will be fueled by electricity in a fashion that will definitely overwhelm the existing power grid (provoking limits on how many electric cars can be sold each year), and will inevitably be sourced from good old cheap power (like coal) in a way that ... OH HELP ME HELP ME! THIS MAKES NO SENSE WHATSOEVER AND COMPLETELY COLLAPSES UNDER EVEN THE MOST BASIC SCRUTINY! I THINK I WILL CALL UPON THE FAMILIAR MESSIANIC CAPABILITIES OF TECHNOPHILIA AND THE SHINING EDICTS OF SILICON VALLEY TO BAIL ME OUT! ... intelligently connects the car to the grid and the web.”

If only cars could be computers. Sigh.